There is a difference between being strong and being scarred. There is a difference between muscle tissue and scar tissue, though they both may bear weight and pull tension. Indeed there is strength in being scarred; understanding that you have confused one origin for the other can be terrifying. In this case while learning to be a step parent. Learning how to "mom" a child who is so smart... it's intimidating. I put on a good show but every night he has exhausted me in sweet ways. I have no idea what sweet ways means but I needed to put a positive spin on the statement. I. Am. Tired. Being any kind of parent is hard. This past 7 days have been hard with just son, dad and me and this isn't an extenuating circumstance I told my A this week is an example of our life. Our future. Why am I so tired? Why do I just want to sleep? What makes anyone think I want to have a child of my own? I'm not strong, I'm scarred. I'm not just tired, I'm hurting. I have to heal. I have to continue to feel. I have to learn to trust in someone else from a place of personal strength and otherwise abandon this shell of scar tissue. Frankly, I don't have time to pick it apart and examine every fiber. The school bus comes about 6:14am. I barely have time to sleep.