Time for another sap story of how I feel nothing.
I'm running out of medicine, but taking less to ration makes everything worse. I have no feelings whatsoever, I get in such an awful mood and I ignore everyone around me. My teeth hurt because I can't stop clenching them, even in my sleep. What do I have to do to keep myself happy? Is it time to rid him of my life? I do, but don't want to. I don't know if I still love him, but if I didn't then why is it so hard to give him up? I've been absolutely restless at night, fighting off the nightmares. I'm always in battle in my dreams. I can't tell if it's a metaphor for my life or just my mind going insane. My head hurts and my body aches. I just wish I could close my eyes and never have to wake up. I love being in a nightmare rather than the real world because at least I have to power to change my dreams. In the real world I am powerless. I feel nothing, I do nothing, I am nothing.