Online Quiz Syndrome
Turns out I’m a tuba, a stinkin' tuba.
One of my “friends” posted a quiz on Facebook. “What musical Instrument Are You?” Of course I thought, “Hey this could be fun!” Damn click bate always gets me. So of course I answered all the questions to the best of my ability, I did not lie on a single one I swear!
When I reached the end, a screen came up saying that it was calculating my results. It seemed to be taking a little while. But then, there it was YOU’RE A TUBA! Like I’m supposed to be excited about it. I wasn’t, and clearly I don’t know who else would be. A tuba?!
So then of course, they try to rationalize it with a description of how your personality matches up with that of any instrument. I could have exited out of the screen, turned my back on this hunk of metal. But I didn’t. I needed to face the tuba side of me. So I read on.
“You may be the bulkiest of the group…”
Wait, what? Is that a fat joke? That’s simply not fair. You asked which dessert I prefer and anyone in their right mind would have chose the triple chocolate cake with a side of vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup plus rainbow sprinkles. This is ridiculous.
“…your laid back nature makes you irresistible.”
I’m not sure if that’s a good thing either. Who was ever like “Oh you spend your entire day in bed with your cat binge watching Netflix? God you’re perfect, please let me take you on a second date. And by the way you look lovely in those Cheetos stained sweatpants.”
I don’t want to believe it, but what if the quiz gods are right and I am the tuba? This was definitely something I was not ready for when I clicked the Begin Quiz button. But are we ever really ready for the results of anything. You think you know all of the songs to Frozen until you take a quiz about it.
And then when you see other people post their quiz results you get jealous.
She got Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean and I got Johnny Depp in Rango?! For that I should at least get a personalized apology letter from the man himself.
Maybe I should stop taking these stupid quizzes, but it’s an addiction nonetheless. Is there a hotline I can call? A support system I can set up? A twelve step program? Anything?!
My cat really isn’t helping me in this dire situation. Maybe Maury Povich; I know this isn’t one of those “you are not the father” cases but a “you are not the tuba” would still bring just as much relief.
If you or someone you know is suffering from online quizzes please contact me so I know I’m not crazy, even though a quiz already told me I was.