Summer has been tough so far. I miss my boyfriend, my mom kicked me out, I have to get a job and miraculously come up with a bunch of money to pay for a car, insurance, my phone, license plates, etc. I hate being an adult. I don't ever want to grow up. I wish Neverland were real so I wouldn't have to deal with becoming a grown up and doing dumb grown up things.
An old flame messaged me a few weeks ago asking if I had started seeing anyone and what not. I was absolutely head over heels for this guy and vice versa, but things never fell into place like we wanted them to. I haven't even met him in person, but I truly believe we were in love. He says he misses me and honestly, I miss him too, but now I have Austin to think about. My actual boyfriend who treats me so well and who I've met and basically lived with the last month of school.
I don't understand boys. I wish I did, but they are impossible. I miss him a lot, and he wants us to meet this summer. I really want to, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. All I would want to do is kiss him and love him, but I wouldn't dare ruin my current relationship for something that wouldn't work out. In a perfect world, Ian wouldn't have stopped talking to me and we would be together. I would be in Ohio with him at this very moment and we would be just now waking up. But of course, I am in the middle of nowhere at my grandmother's house. Austin is an hour away and I don't have a car. The world is everything but perfect. We all must strive for perfection, but perfection doesn't exist.