In his usual way, John decided he wanted to become a good runner. Usual way meaning - starting tomorrow.
Well, tomorrow came. The day lays ahead, no stress, no schedule - he can get busy doing whatever it is that he wants to do. So what is that? He needs some shoes. He will go to the store and buy some. But which ones fit best? He must research first. Research is generally carried based on your future plans - what are his future plans? Well, he just wants to be a good runner, he really really wants to, but... Okay, so how does he do this? He could focus on endurance or speed. He could run marathons, and then, heck, even be part of the olympics? I mean, who's to say that if you don't put enough effort into something, you could get anywhere?
He buys some affordable pair of shoes and one mile in he is heaving. I mean, no-air-spitting-out-your-lungs-can't-feel-anything heaving. He has been an office worker for 5 years now, in his early thirties, and some side issues he didn't really want to see were starting to set in. But Jesus Christ, this bad??
Yes, this bad. What did you think, John? That you can just be whatever you want to be? Why isn't your next door neighbour, or your mother, or even the online promoters that shout that you "can" be whatever you want to be? Heck, if anyone could be anything, why on Earth wouldn't they be?
So once again, the same voices that lifted him to the heights of infinite potentiality, were the same ones that were smashing his brains in with despisal. It makes no bit of a difference what you can do - because yes, anyone can indeed do anything - if you can't grind through the boredom of it. Trough the repetitiveness of it. Half of the days with minor progress, half just maintenance. Until when the tipping point - say, you've run the marathon, you did it - is within palm's reach and you take it for granted without the faintest of consideration for your past months of anguish.
Why does the mind run so fast? Why does it always have to be brought back to outer reality? What use is imagination then? Because even if it's a motivation uplifter, it becomes routine as well. Drugs are so popular because the mind needs entertainment. You can get addicted to anything that brings pleasure of any kind, and these days, with all the motivational quotes? Oh boy, let me tell you.
And just like that, in a couple of hours' worth of time, this idea he fancied became a renegade. And a constant future reminder of what he can't do. Or something that he could have, but he didn't go through the hassle of it. One coin overtly tossed in the arrogance jar - office work is more important, more rewarding, more intellectually demanding. Another coin concealedly tossed in the hopelessness towards himself jar - too late to make significant changes in your life, you're already cemented, you're powerless.
In his usual way, John decided he wanted to become a painter. Usual way meaning - starting tomorrow.
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