How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
all of them unless they give me a real reason not to. life's too short to live in paranoid distrust of others. also there's something just inherently trustworthy about boobs.
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
jeans? no. used to rock skinny 'pants' quite a bit but i've since switched to slacks. slacks is a fun word to say.
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
you tell me. what should i do? what do your dirty fantasies desire? d-:
14. What are you going to spend money on next?
besides typical daily needs, i'm planning on buying an iphone 6 so i can switch back to virgin mobile since the fucks decided to start supporting the iphone again after i went and got an iphone 5s through t-mobile. the fucks.
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
if "going out" and "married to" are the same thing then sure i guess. we also have a kid. does that mean we're "going steady"?
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
i dunno. i do rather like this outfit i'm wearing.
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
you. :peers into your eyes with the best creeper gaze i can muster:
18. The last time you felt broken?
fortunately i've never broken a bone. so technically never. how about that.
19. Have you had sex today?
no, why, who's asking? are you threatening me?
20. Are you starting to realize anything?
yes i am starting to realize anything.
21. Are you in a good mood?
that depends on how many boobs are pressed against my face at any given time.
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
yes if i were made of titanium. but then i'd probably not be able to swim anymore because metal mario couldn't swim and mario 64 = science.
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
his are greener. mine are bluer. but our farts are the same.
24. What do you want right this second?
you to fill out this survey and tell me all your dirty secrets. the latter part you can just email me directly, though, no worries.
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
hell yeah. can i videotape and then we have a threesome? or y'all can just tie me up and make me watch. you know, whatever's clever.
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
no. my natural hair color is fuchsia.
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
oh i would pretty much throw dates at anyone who asked me to. you weirdos.
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
the poem pointy birds by john lillison, england's greatest one-armed poet.
o pointy birds,
o pointy pointy
anoint my head,
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
i generally miss your boobs smashed against my face. generally. i also miss skoots but he'll be back eventually in a future episode.
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
everyone deserves infinite chances, but it's also important to remember that oft times people need to figure things out for themselves. don't overinvest yourself in others' repeated failings.
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
i hate no one. why? do you? you hateful asshole?
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
i like how this question has a random unnecessary comma thrown in there. good job, AOL survey writer of yore.
in answer to the question, well, what kind of feelings? huh? be more specific, ya putz.
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
no, i generally enjoy living life.
34. Listening to?
at the moment the sounds of my kid playing. aw.
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
i'm typing this survey in pencil! ya putz.
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
why do i feel like this question is phrased condescendingly? like i was supposed to keep track of said person and if i don't i'm a bad person? god dammit i didn't know i was supposed to use the buddy system! :cries:
37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
38. Who did you last call?
my mom. she didn't answer. she was probably too busy calling your mom.
39. Who was the last person you danced with?
myself unless you count everyone else at the club who was also dancing alone yet together at the same time in glorious paradox.
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
because she asked me to.
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
a few weeks ago at fisherman's wharf. insert additional exciting content here.
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
oh teehee lolz no.
44. Do you tan in the nude?
i don't intentionally tan cause i think it's ridiculous and i enjoy generally not having skin cancer.
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
no but you can take it back for me if you want from my wife's mouth with your tongue. just be sure to tell me about it later.
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
no - i talked for a while and then i did not talk for a while and then i fell asleep and likely talked more in my sleep. i also had a dream that one of my friends on twitter sat on my face.
Who was the last person to call you?
48. Do you sing in the shower?
depends on if the neighbor's window is open and i'm sure they can hear me. if so, yes, as ridiculously as possible.
49. Do you dance in the car?
that's not a safe way to drive. stop being 16, dumb AOL survey!
50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
yes but not in ages.
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
i don't even remember. sorry.
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
yes and no. but then so is cheese, and i like cheese.
53. Is Christmas stressful?
i don't know i've never met her. http://instantrimshot.com
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
yes. i don't live in north dakota anymore. oh wait, they had them there too. am i missing something? is this a sexual question?
55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
strawberry rhubarb. rhubarb is a fun word to say also. rhuuuuubarb. i also like chicken pot pies. of fruit.
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
a video game programmer until i realized i did not like math nearly enough to do that shit.
57. Do you believe in ghosts?
depends on your definition of ghost.
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
yes - typically though it's something i've dreamt about previously rather than actually experienced, and it's usually some completely trivial situation as well. had that happen my whole life, though not for a while.
59. Take a vitamin daily?
no thanks. and my name's not daily.
60. Wear slippers?
who needs slippers when you have feet and pants?
61. Wear a bath robe?
only to your place, sweety. (;
62. What do you wear to bed?
jack shit unless it's uncommonly cold in which case probably my amazing japan-imported koala onesie with ears and a tail.
63. First concert?
the beach boys
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
that's a toss up between target and kmart. target for the overall selection, but kmart for the bizarrely huge AC vents in the ceiling.
65. Nike or Adidas?
vibram five-fingers and ello t-shirt. besides underworld likes to wear adidis yet their design firm tomato has done ads for nike. can't we all just get along and listen to underworld and have an orgy?
66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
both. mixed. take that society.
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
peanutbutter on a hot dog is fucking amazing. don't believe me? try it.
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
i like the album taylr swift by kill frenzy a lot. all of the songs on it are good. go get it.
69. Ever take dance lessons?
i don't need lessons. unless i wanna swing dance then i probably would.
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
is a future spouse like a future wife? the room is great, isn't it? also the dj duo future wives are also great, but you may not know who they are.
71. Can you curl your tongue?
that and so much more... (;
i mean i can also turn it upside down in both directions, give it multiple curls, tie two cherry stems with it simultaneously, and give the best cunnilingus you've ever had. you know, just in case you were wondering what that winky face meant. you know. just in case.
72. Ever won a spelling bee?
fuck no i am not a fan of bees and hope to never be stung by one and i don't even care if it can spell. fuck that. props to all the bee keepers for dat honey doe. also i would like to take this opportunity to express that i have properly used the phrase "dat ___ doe" in a sentence just now as opposed to all the fucks who just repeatedly say "dat ____ doe" on its own for absolutely no fucking reason and with no point of comparison. "that ass though?" though what? that ass as opposed to what? learn how english kind of works before you try to sound clever with slang that makes zero syntactical sense, you pants! fucking hell "doe"! ...ok i'm better now.
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
yes but usually only if i'm getting a really solid spanking.
74. What is your favorite book?
the silver chair
75. Do you study better with or without music?
i study better with the internet. music is irrelavent. unless of course i'm studying music... which still requires the internet.
76. Regularly burn incense?
i used to. i need to start doing that again. it's good for the soul.
77. Ever been in love?
oh you AOL survey you. you are that 12 year old drunk girl aren't you?
78. Who would you like to see in concert?
underworld, kraftwerk, and really far too many others to mention. i mention those two as i've sadly missed them a few times since they seem to only come to town when i'm between income sources or moving.
79. What was the last concert you saw?
robag wruhme, my absolute favorite DJ and an outstanding musician to boot.
80. Hot tea or cold tea?
81. Tea or coffee?
82. Favorite type of cookie?
probably the chocolate chip ones my mom makes. aw.
83. Can you swim well?
wells are quite small in circumference so i don't think i could successfully swim in one. maybe tread water if that's what you want. mistress.
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
yes. seriously AOL survey are you trying to tell me there is someone out there who can't do this?
85. Are you patient?
yes. are you nurse?
86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
the reanimated corpse of wesley willis.
87. Ever won a contest?
yes why @rusty and i went to an awesome concert just the other week cause i won tickets! we saw the protomen and the aforementioned twitter friend who i dreamt sat on my face last night.
88. Ever have plastic surgery?
na if something plastic breaks i usually just throw it out. you're welcome.
89. Which are better black or green olives?
black olives all the way. :bends over:
90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
i value opinions on sex before marriage. and opinions in general
91. Best room for a fireplace?
a room that isn't excessively flammable.
92. Do you want to get married?
i think legal marriage is a joke. but lifelong comittment to another person which i consider to be true marriage is very real. and i already did that so um...i dunno survey, did i jump the gun?