Drama queen much?
People perceive Timothy as kind and naive. He's bearing a slight frown and is always sort of gloomy - 'Tim, I'm tired of your depressing shit', a close friend of his would say. It saddens him to see the bad gripping the ones around him, and the good to be silenced in some sort of forced protection. After a long while of exploring and deconstructing himself, he's no longer afraid of the bad. He's mostly disheartened about people's deeply damaging and toxic feeling to think they are helpless towards themselves. The way they mostly drift from one trend to another, so ruthless in chopping who they really are in order to fit their surrounding jigs.
He doesn't think he knows what's best for them. It's actually what he can't stand at all - the arrogance of claiming to know what's best for another, based on what you know. Or what you think you know. Timothy thinks that it's difficult, and oftentimes hypocritical to be so sure of himself, when, truth be told, most of the times he has no clue about anything. So even though he feels he knows some things, he likes to think them trough. Overhink-think-think all the time. And he finds out many truths, and gets all giddy at thoughts like 'Oh, man, if only they were to get this too.'.
Ain't nobody got time for that. Who the hell wants to explore all the delicate intricacies of their wrong-doings and wrong-thinkings? Who the fuck is Tim to claim to know what's best for them? So most of these alleged directed wisdom bits are useless. What good is a truth if you can't make something better of it? Despite all this, Timothy likes to keep his spirits high, and tries to express himself through kindness and understanding. He chooses so, he doesn't want to slap sense into anyone or be just another criticizing Joe in their lives. And the reason he chooses to stay positive is not because he's been brainwashed into bestselling motivational speak or part of a zen cult, but because he wants to be there for the ones that matter to him. There will be times when these people will want to do things that are bigger than themselves, and they will start from nothing but a belief they can do it. And in these initial moments, before the knowledge, feedback and traction, all you have is a big wish and a ton of doubts.
And it's always that tiny wish that Timothy wants to pump life into, every step until it can live on its own. He doesn't mind handling a failure or a sidestep - he wants to expose them as they are, not as huge disappointments. He knows the only way for existence to be bearable is to be true to yourself and to the surroundings.
#writing #words #fiction #storytelling #mindwrites #ranting @ello @ellowrites