HOW TO USE A DUCK
The general was carrying a living bird in one hand as the other was in his pocket. He stopped in front of them:
– Alright, gentlemen. This is not a joke or whatever you, little piss drinkers, have imagined. This is war, folks. This is the freakin’ end of times.
The soldiers got a little frightened, not really knowing why that was so important. I mean, it’s not even the 4th world war revival, no people beating up each other with smartphones, suffocating cold-blooded Starbuck’s insurgents.
The general continued:
– So. Today we are going to learn how to use a duck. It’s quite simple.
He catches the living duck by the neck and puts it on combat position.
– First, you put it in combat mode. I’m sure there’s a button somewhere right here…and hmm…no. This one is some of the old models..anyway, well, being in combat mode, all you got to do is aim and wait for the quack. I do need to warn you that you must not lose the timing. After the quack, you need to blast in 4 seconds. If you don’t, the duck will start questioning you. Believe me, they can be cunts.
“What the fuck is he talking about?”, a soldier said.
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