The Long Goodbye....
At no point in my life had I felt so low then when I watched her walk away to board her plane. We said our goodbyes as two people would that likely would never cross paths again. She disappeared around the corner to the catwalk to the plane. The destination was the other side of the country.
Why am I letting her go? We spent so much time together just walking around, talking about everything from life to what we wanted out of it. Sharing dreams and admiring the lives of the people around us. Often times making up little stories about the couples we would see.
Now she's gone and all I can do is recall our stories from memory. There will be no more little chats about what we found on the Internet or the latest meme that one of our friends posted. Why did she have to really go? My heart is heavy as I watch the plane leave, hoping that she somehow got off the plane unable to really make the move.
As the plane drifts into the clouds out of sight I turn and walk away down the ramp to the main lobby. Looking at all the people around me, some greeting loved ones and others saying goodbye. I start to think of what they are thinking or what brought them to the airport when a sadness overcomes me. This is what we would do. I don't want to do that anymore. That's what we used to do together and now it's over.
Getting in my car I begin to realize that I have to start all over but without a huge part of my heart that's flying across the country. I'll never have that with someone again. Driving down the highway I stop at a local coffee shop and get out to grab a quick black coffee.
A nice lady takes my order and then my money. Looking up at her she smiles at me. I hardly notice as my mind is obviously elsewhere. As she hands me my change she looks at me and asks if everything is okay to which I can only respond with a half hearted yes.
Everything I look at and everything I hear reminds me of her. Getting back in my car I don't even bother turning on the radio as a means of avoiding that one or two sad songs that as Murphy's Law would dictate would inevitably come on. Almost as if the station knew someone would be listening.
I finally get back to my place and get out with my coffee heading into the house. It felt empty and cold. Echoes of our last fight could still be heard. The spoon she used to stir her coffee this morning still in the sink, her cup still on the table. All I can do is sit down at the table and finally break down. The long goodbye is over.
Now to gather the strength to start over. But not tonight. Tonight it just me, my cat and a bottle of fireball to dull the pain.
@ello @ellowrites @ellopoetry @ellophotography @nevoazul
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