He passed, I shrugged. She laughed, I inhaled. It smells like death and I can't seem to find my self. The sun came up and left my heart empty and cold. As I stand alone my insides weep at the time passed, I could've been spending with you. No roses, no lavender, just time gone and time alone. My bones wrinkle as I forgot to drink water. But with no roses and no lavender how could I remember? When I laugh no one else hears. When I need a hug, I have my pillows. But what will my watering tongue endure once you're ready? Nothing as sweet as I was imagining. Nothing as clean as I was thinking. I want you here so that we can melt into each other and stay that way until we can't. I don't want the clock to ring, I don't want the sun to come up, until I can be reunited with you. I miss you, I love you, and I hope you're doing well. My tongue begins to swell, I know there's something waiting for me outside these walls. It's big and loud, I can never be me. My heart runs, and I slip into the lungs of my enemy. I walk like a ghost that has dreamt of death, smiling foolishly, grinning terribly, and tripping into a face plant. No arms, no head, but I can still hear my heart. Retraining myself how to move in the simplest of ways. Every movement is fuelled with pain and weakness. My eyes droop in the weariness of tomorrow as I know ill be going into it one handed. And saddened in despair that you weren't there.