So, I've been attempting to play guitar with my daughter's choir - they sing at the Catholic Church I attended back before I deconverted to whatever weird mix of pagan, agnostic, and Taoist that I'm now.
And I just don't know if I can do it. If they were just playing the songs from "normal Catholic" it would be easier. The problem is that they throw in songs from my Catholic Charismatic days. With the "normal songs", I can shove the negative associations to the back of my consciousness and just play guitar.
With those other ones, the charismatic ones, that's impossible. I go into a fight or flight response when those songs play. My heart rate elevates, my breathing gets shallow and rapid, and I get very stressed.
I just don't know how to explain it to Angelina.....