Bipolar is the worst to grow up with. My mom has always been bipolar and its made living my life scary. You never know when her next stage of mania will be, and until you know youre living your life like youre walking on egg shells. When the mania hits you wish you were walking on egg shells again, because its explosive and physical and violent and intense and scary. Ive been called so many things and pushed into showers and hit and hurt emotionally and physically so many times i cant count them. The police cant do anything, the ambulance cant do anything. Shes threatened divorce with my father, suicide, putting our pets on the streets. Sometimes i want her to divorce so i dont have to see her anymore. Sometimes i wish suicide so i dont have to deal with her anymore. Sometimes i wish that she had never been my mom. I hope that college comes faster. I was forced from age 5 to grow up and be the adult because she never is. I was forced to give up my childhood and livelihood because she has a disease she refuses to properly medicate. I was forced to grow up because she never could, and part of me will never forgive her for that.