When I opened my eyes looking ahead, she wasn’t there, but with my peripheral vision I sensed she is standing right next to me at the driver’s window. I slowly turned to face her; I can’t describe the kind of fear I experienced and how I felt at that moment. But I kept telling myself ‘so what, so you die tonight, we all going to die anyway’. With a trembling voice I asked her ‘who are you?’ and she burst out with a devilish laugh showing her black teeth to me, I saw that her tongue was also black and it looked disgusting. My disgust must have shown on my face, because she stopped laughing and raised her brow at me. I felt a little braver and asked her again ‘what do you want?’ She hissed with her evil gravely voice ‘you already know’ and grinned at me. I opened my window and cold night’s air hit me in the face, she leaned toward my face and started to hiss and growl, I looked into her red eyes and said ‘ok, you can take me, being alive is scarier anyway.’
Suddenly her face became normal and human and with a friendly voice she said ‘hold on, now this is interesting.’ I was startled by this change, but I felt my senses coming back to me and terror subside. She now smiled at me kindly and asked ‘do you want to go back to my place, so we can talk a little?’ ‘Sure’ I said ‘shall we go by my car?’ ‘No’ she answered ‘park it here on the side of the road, it’s a long way, it will be faster if we just fly there.’ Fly there!? I was surprised to find myself feeling excited. I parked the car on side of the road, further away from the driveway and got out. She came to my side, wrapped her hand around my waist and I didn’t understand how, but we were now flying over the world, somewhere really far above it, we flew really fast, everything was flashing before my eyes, yet I did not feel the speed of flight, it seemed like we were just gravitating somewhere in the atmosphere. I did not feel the wind, or the flight; I could only see it below on a fast-forward.
I don’t know how long did we fly for, when we finally landed in the middle of a desert, much like the one we came from. It was cold and dark, no sign of life in sight. A little ruin of a house stood in front of us with holes for windows and door. In front of the house was a place for a bonfire and a couple of big stones to sit on next to it. She pointed at one of the stones, gesturing me to take a seat and got herself busy mending the fire.
‘Would you like something to drink or eat?’ – she asked when the fire was on.
‘Hot tea with milk and sugar would be great’ – I said.
She went inside the house and a moment later came out with two big cups, one of which she handed to me, I tasted the tea just as I imagined it. With warm tea in my hands and the warmth coming off the fire, I felt really cozy sitting here with someone who was possibly a devil. I looked up at the sky; the whole universe was visible from here, the Milky Way and all the constellations, even all the planets. The moon seemed much bigger than usual too.
‘So you said that living was scarier than being killed by me?’ – she looked at me and smiled.
‘Well, yeah. Life is tough, I have a lot on my plate and I feel too tired too often’ – I said with sigh.
‘Ha, you don’t say. What about me? How old are you? 33? The age of the Christ..’
‘How old are you?’ – I asked genuinely curious.
‘I am forever.’ She paused for a while, we both stared into the fire, then she continued – ‘So what is wrong with your life, it’s not that bad, I’ve seen worse, but no one ever was less scared to be killed by me?’
‘I think I was always ready to die, I never feared death. Not really. Even considering that I am an atheist and don’t actually believe in heaven and hell, nor god or evil, speaking of which how the fuck am I supposed to make sense of you? Was the world really created by god then? Tell me the truth about life.’
‘There are many truths. Everything that you ever heard about life and death, all of it is true. In fact all the stories, theories, sciences and everything is true.’ – she said.
‘How can all of it be true? They are contradicting, either one or the other has to be true..’ – I said puzzled.
‘That’s very close-minded of you to think this way. Just because something is contradicting each other doesn’t mean that only one of it is true. Everything that is ever said starts to exist and so it becomes true, if humans understood this simple rule, life wouldn’t have to be so hard. Even when you share a life with someone and it becomes hard to draw a line between your life and your partner’s life, the both of you have different truths and the both truths exist in parallel.’
I absorbed every word she said in awe, how very simple this revelation was.
‘The only reason I appeared on your way tonight is because you thought I would,’ – she continued ‘by thinking it, you made this a reality. And the fact that we are sitting here and talking now is because you decided to befriend me. You thought of something and made it true, this goes for everyone and everything said in the world. Everything exists in parallel not in contrast or contradiction. Nobody has to prove anything to anyone really.’
So we sat by the fire, drinking tea (mine was tea at least), it seemed that nothing else needed to be said. It was all clear to me now. My thirst for life and its meaning was satisfied. It was a while until she looked at me and said ‘So are you scared to die now?’ – then she laughed out loud and said – ‘just kidding! Let me take you back to your car. Go get some sleep and believe whatever you want to believe, life is not as bad you think.’
The flight back to the car was just as mesmerizing as the flight we took to her place. I looked at the world flashing before my eyes with a smile, I breathed deeply and felt really really alive for, what might have been, the first time in my life. We landed next to my car, she put me down gently, looked into my eyes, winked at me and said before walking and disappearing into the desert ‘be happy, don’t be stupid.’ I got into my car still looking at her walking into the distance, and just before she disappeared from my view I glanced at the clock it was 3.03am. I started the engine and drove home with a new sense of purpose.