“Do not fall in love with me.
If you do, you’ll end up at all the Renaissance fairs. I’ll wear Medieval dresses and quote every line from Hamlet because I can and embarrass you until you start checking your watch every three minutes.
You will end up in every hole-in-the-wall book store, choking on dust in the poetry section. I will get us stranded in the rain and in the middle of nowhere, and refuse to let you look at your maps until the sun goes down and we’ve wandered long enough under the stars.
You will have to suffer my dreams, and my delusions. I’ll stand on chairs so I’m tall enough to slay dragons. I’ll hide away in my room a lot, researching the history of castles and how much it would cost us to wake up one morning and fly straightaway to Iceland. When I’m writing, you might not see me for days. My sleeping hours will never be consistent.
You’ll figure out that I don’t believe it is possible to love things too much. When something interests me, I will talk your ear off about it until you start counting sheep in your head. I will run down my hallways in my socks and play movie soundtracks at maximum volume. I will lie awake for hours curled under your arm and I will make you stay up all night with me when the sky is clear and there are hot chocolate packets in the cupboards. I will laugh at almost everything because yes, the world is terrible, but it is also beautiful and incomprehensible and very, very funny. I will create things and I will destroy things. I will eat breakfast on the floor in my sweat pants and tie my hair up without brushing it.
One day I’ll cut it all off. One day I’ll get a tattoo. I’ll make myself look ridiculous, sometimes. And I will say the wrong things, frequently. I’ll play devil’s advocate a lot and I’ll bother the universe with questions because there are things I just have to know. Some days I’ll seem to have my entire life figured out and then, just when you think I’m alright, I’ll spend an entire day eating ice cream and sobbing over nothing, and everything.
Sometimes I’ll be selfish and sometimes I’ll be aloof and sometimes I’ll be restless, and sometimes I’ll pretend to be apathetic about the things that hurt me. Sometimes I’ll run from the things I’m most afraid of.
And so sometimes I’ll plan thousands of adventures for us to go on and then forget about every single one the moment your hand catches mine. I’ll forget your birthday. I will. I’m sorry. I’ll forget your birthday and I’ll forget our anniversary every single year and I’ll forget the name of your mother’s sister who always sends us gifts but I will never forget the story you tell me about the first blonde-haired blue-eyed girl who broke your heart and I will never forget what makes you smile.
Do not fall in love with me.
If you do, I will be an aurora borealis that is only beautiful now and again if you trudge through hours of storm and snow to get to me.
But if you get there, I promise you
I promise you
I promise you
I promise you:
it will be so worth it.”