i’ve arrived at that point where i want the world to stop for a day. i want to read a whole book cover-to-cover without stopping like i used to. i want to wear a sundress and wade barefoot in a creek bed. i want to sleep on a warm rock in the sun, somewhere nothing and no one will disturb me. i want to stop being observable to everyone other than myself, just for a little while, so i can relax and remember who i am again. i want to spend an afternoon becoming soft; to exfoliate, shave, and cover myself in lotion; to cover my hair in hot oil and then wash and blow-dry it; to treat my face with an acid peel, scrape it clean with a razor, and pile on four different moisturizers. i want to glow softly. i want to stop being hungry for a few days. i want the pain to fade from my muscles and joints; i want to feel as young as i am. i want to spend one day not thinking about the damage i have been dealt. i want to sleep for fourteen hours. i want to drink a bottle of champagne slowly as i watch the sun set. i want to curl up in a little ball under a thick comforter without getting too warm. i want to stop feeling bored and just be for a little bit, no obligations, no pressures, simply acting and resting and living without burden.