The One Word Men Never See in Their Performance Reviews
spoiler alert: it's "abrasive"
Story time: once upon a time, a female coworker of mine and I had remarkably similar personalities and discovered we were receiving essentially the same feedback, though worded very differently (we also discovered that they started me $10k higher for the same technical job, with no salary negotiation on my part, despite the fact that she had a technical degree and mine was in art history).
The basic problem with both of us was that we were very, very good at the technical side of our job and not very good at the side that required us to work with coworkers who were fucking imbeciles. To me, this was always presented as an afterthought and phrased as a positive: "remember to keep improving your interpersonal skills, especially when dealing with people who lack your expertise." To her, it was presented as a full stop and made the core of her review: "you are too abrasive and too eager to prove yourself right and others wrong".
The irony was that, because her reviews were so much more critical, she really did dial it back, whereas I was apparently considered a holy terror to work with because I'd say shit like "that's a fucking terrible idea and we'll never be doing that". So once they could no longer shit on her for being too aggressive, they started in with telling her her body language was "hostile and uninviting".
This was the same company, mind you, that seemingly maintained a strict one (1) black person per 80 person department at all times policy.
But yeah, it is unsurprising to see that this shit happens pretty much everywhere.