okay but one thing i think youngarts really helped me with is coming to terms with the reality of myself. & by this i mean that being around incredibly smart, talented young creatives 24/7 for a whole week is humbling like you wouldn't believe. there were at least four seniors in our lil writer group alone who were headed to ~top-tier colleges~ (whatever that means). hell, my roommate was a dancer who studies at juilliard in the summers. & that's not even mentioning the actual caliber of these people's actual art, which means so much more than their external success anyway. i felt totally inadequate literally all the time. & that was terrifying at first.
but here is the thing: after a day or so i started just not caring that i was inadequate. i looked myself full in the face & said, "you kind of suck, but i don't really give a shit." because what matters more was the fact that there were all these people around me & i could bear witness to their magnificence. there was so much to learn & so much room to grow. that was really, really exciting.
& anyway it just gives me a lot of peace to know that i will probably never be able to think really highly of myself or be as amazing as i want to be but it doesn't really matter as long as i am trying my best & being empathetic & being responsible & remaining open to learning new things. i can be inadequate & that is okay & i don't have to spend so much time hating myself for it