dammit i wasn't going to get emotional today but then
- my semester grades finally came in and they are good (A Relief)
- feeling kind of shitty about my poetry but also very at peace?? like if i never win another thing again i may be sad but it will not be the end of the world as long as i remember what i came to poetry for????
- not everything i write needs to be not terrible and that is fine
- got some really!!!! good news that made me sCReam a bit but i have to keep it on the dl and i am bursting
- i stayed for a long time after school to watch LD practice and brush up on my flowing (because i think i'm going to be 1/2 of a sacrificial lamb policy team @ districts for the second year in a row aka If We Qual to State Again I'll Fucking Cry) and the LDers are such nerds i love them
- r stayed a little longer after practice and was like "hey so i was checking NSDA and you're ranked first in the state for oratory by....... a pretty wide margin you're amazing" and i had no idea and it just. holy moly?? and the fact that he took the time to point it out to me bc otherwise i would just never have known?
- natquals is in about a month and i'm really! nervous about it because i really want to qual to nats again but what if i don't -- but my teammates just have absolute faith in me and that's so weird and it feels so strange and nice
- i started writing this long sappy email to my best friend and i just......... i love her???? what a good bean