It took a walk with my husband recently. It was a the end of the Swedish winter, still cold but with a thick layer of ice covering the ground - frozen after the last sudden heat wave. It’s a schizophrenic time of the year, especially here, where the surroundings can be covered with snow one day and people walking in t-shirts and shorts the next day.
“I need to face my fears” I told him while desperately trying to pass an icy spot on the road up the forest we love so much. I hate ice, it should be noted. It might the only thing completely natural I dislike so much, and I fear every winter where the world around transforms into ICE HELL! Stepping on frozen water is like dipping your feet in lard and trying to cross a public shower room without crushing the back of your head against the tiled floor. Yes, I truly hate that shit. I want to take a walk without even having in my mind I could be dead by the next step. “Do I really need to face my fears?” I added.
Yeah, why the fucking fuck do I need to face my fears? What hell is wrong with the world? Why would I do something that I truly hate and know I never will be able enjoy? Why would I even want to spend time with ice, or any other thing I despise? I have no need to climb heights, or parachute or travel across war torn countries just to get that perfect? Why learn to drive car when I live perfectly fine without one?
And that means you too, you really don’t need to face your fears. You can, without getting punished in the afterlife by either a psychopathic god entity or a red and evil horned symbol created by religion to keep you and your fellas in control feel bad about yourself, live a life as safe as possible, as safe as you prefer it. You don’t need to say yes to the telephone sales job when you hate talking in telephone, you can always find something else. You don’t need to fucking do slalom because some dude tells you so in the after ski bar, it’s just macho bullshit. Stay and get drunk a fake bear fur instead, like you always wanted deep inside.
Let’s face the fact, the need to face one's fears - if it’s from ice skating to climbing down a volcano, to speak in front of an audience or answer the doorbell - is just to show everyone else around you that you’re not a wimp. But who says your a wimp because you don’t like certain things?
Live your life, like I do, as peacefully and comfortable as possible. I know exactly what turns me on and makes my mind clear and strong, and it’s not walking on ice or taking a driver’s license. I’ve found my path and it’s the best path for me ever, and it’s me that counts here. The only judging you in this is the unwritten rules in society, weird mind tricks meant to make us behave so no one else will be annoyed.
Yep, you bet. I didn’t walk across that ice. I walked around it in basically the same amount of time as if I was crossing it, and didn’t arrive to the other side with a broken arm or worse.
I walked on safe ground the whole time,
felt happy and relaxed and alive.
#writing #ellowrites #ice #faceyourfears #individualism #satanism