LOOKING FOR LOVE AND HAPPINESS.
What is it exactly why we wake up in the morning and go about all we do and say? Why do we shop and buy and have parties and fall in love?
Beneath all that we are looking for, there is a desire to be fulfilled. The problem is that we as human beings will never be completely fulfilled, simply because that is not possible. Think about it, maybe think back to that moment that you were completely happy. Maybe that moment is right now. But what you also know is that this moment will pass, too.
We need to find a way that makes us happy on a more profound level. Wouldn't that be great? To be able to stop wanting all the time, feeling that there's always something more to be gained?
Let's look at falling in love. Don't you love the feeling? The first time you see him or her across the room and you know: I really, really have to get to know this person! That's emotion and desire number one: I need to get his or her attention. If only he or she would talk to me and acknowledge my existence.
Next thing you know, it's mutual. You're falling in love.
This is how most stories, books and movies end. They find each other. Forever blissed, they will continue life, knowing that they are loved and that they are now happy forever.
We really need to look at what's happening after the marriage. And I could make it even more brutal: is this really what's life is about? Does love last?
I always felt that life should be about more than having your wishes fulfilled. I always wanted to dig deeper. You know why? Because I no more wanted to be dependent on the other to be happy. I wanted to depend on me. Because what happens when your wishes aren't fulfilled? Like most of the time? Think about it.
Let's stop putting all your energy in making your wishes come true and then discovering we're at the end of our lives, having forgotten how to live while pursuing all these dreams.
The Buddha told us two and a half thousand years ago that happiness lies in ending desire. Because desire is the same as having insatiable wants. And whenever we have a certain desire, we are creating suffering. Wanting to have stuff, getting attention, feeling love, and then fearing that we might lose it.
Desire is about the ego, but we are not our ego. What we are transcends body and mind. It transcends doing and thinking.
In the end, it’s all about finding deeper dimensions of happiness. And happiness that depends on people and things makes us into slaves and makes us dependent and superficial. Because then we are in service of the things and people we depend on.
Please know that with true wisdom, happiness arises. Don’t struggle for years and only get to be happy at the end. There is no happiness at the end, if you're not happy now, you will never be happy. Let me repeat that: if you are not happy now, you will never be happy. But be careful, because the definition of true happiness is something completely different than what society is telling you.
Happiness is being present in this moment, not needing to be somewhere else, being someone else or being with another person. It's that simple. Life is never, and will never be, perfect. And that's true perfection in itself.