Honestly, this Ello post was initially going to be your run of the mill "I'm awesome wanna hook up here is my dick pic". But I had a revelation due to being an avid reader of other posts on here. Not a poster mind you, but a reader. Not because I can't compete with the thousands of dick pics that are offered to you ladies on a daily basis. Oh, I have a dick and I am perfectly capable of operating a camera, especially when said dick is erect(I mean who can't!). No, I've come to the conclusion that women are far superior in intelligence to bother with improper grammar and cock shots with a toilet in the background. The fact is, I believe I have discovered a far more subversive yet ingenious way that women have devised to pick up a guy for some casual fun: grocery shopping.
Just go with me on this. This is based on events that I think occurred so they must be true.
So I stroll into the local food store on a weekday afternoon (the Kroger or Meijer for example) to simply pick up some groceries. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a guy buying food to feed the family. But as I begin this hunt for food, I become aware that the women to men ratio in this establishment is at least 100 to 1, with the 1 being me. At least that's what I see since I'm not looking at guys. I'm quite content with this ratio as eye candy makes for happy shopping so I commence gathering.
As my cart rumbles through the produce section, I spy the backside of a tall brunette in a pretty purple sundress that hugs her beautiful figure. I head in her direction and discover that she is selecting cucumbers. And she is really into it. Checking for firmness, turning them over, intently examining.Of course, the junior high boy in me is laughing inside because I was thinking "hahaha she's picking out a cock", then I thought, well, maybe she is. I mean, I don't know her situation. Maybe she isn't getting any at home and is looking for another way to release. Hey, I don't judge.
As I chuckle to myself about the cucumber cock lady, I immediately turn and a MILF is picking up bananas, raising them above her eye level to check for damage. But the only thought in my mind was, " If the cucumber lady was looking for THE one, this MILF must be imagining the Pacers starting lineup". And I did laugh out loud at that one, but then it occurred to me that weekday grocery shopping isn't about food. It's about sex! What a great concept.
I had to move on to the liquor isle. As I turn the corner, I'm confronted by an employee handing out samples of what? Sausages! Not just any sausages, big sausages that were cut up into little bit size snacks. My thought? She's into BDSM. It was obvious since she was so forceful in pushing these broken weenies. She probably enjoyed slicing every last one. 50 shades of cut up weenie was her wish! I politely said no and searched for my booze.
As I was deciding on my drink of choice, I was confronted by a young lovely lady who took it upon herself to place a bottle of Margarita mix into my cart stating " This is my favorite. You'll love it!" I smiled somewhat shocked that she was so forward to try to get me drunk and take advantage of me in the grocery store. I was really flattered and assumed she wanted me, even if she did have the liquor company name on her shirt and was unloading the bottles from boxes. I decided since I'm on to this game I would finish my shopping and assume she would hunt me down and give me a blow job or something.
This is just a small sample of what I encountered that day. Dozens of women throughout the store were taunting me with their subliminal desires. As I finished my shopping, I passed the pharmacy. Do I even have to say it? She was getting birth control pills. I didn't actually see her buy them that but I'm assuming so since this is my story.
So there you have it. If Ello doesn't work, the grocery store is the next best thing. In the meantime, I'm a down to earth, professional, fun, attractive 56 year old MWM looking for a woman who likes to shop for groceries on weekdays. Not into one night stands, really looking for someone I can get to know at least a little as we casually have fun together. I'd like a relaxing no pressure get to know each other then fuck like rabbits type of a woman. Married preferred, age 18 to 60. Drop me a line and we can email, chat, meet, and see what happens!