I am floating away..
An absurd contradiction of a Beautiful family all around me smiling with a case of the "normals"
Still, within my never-stillness, I am floating away. As much as they would want to, they cant see it.
I know who I am now but
they tell me to lighten my fleeting thoughts while coming from worlds where their inner demons shove in a downward motion only, so they must simply claw up to reach the safe place.
Even their demons are in a predictable rutt, even their demons are more normal than one of me.
Blindfolded without the benefit of my master placing it upon me
Tied up if only from inside of me.
My world is not that normal family's world. My saviour nothing they could see with true clarity required to witness a resolved strength such as his.
I am floating away and have finally absorbed a lesson. It is possible to become too free, too unburdened by the reality around you it is possible to disconnect too many cords as you avoid the emotional and become rootless.
I am spoiled I am a whisper I am less than silk I cannot make an impression when I am floating away. That must be why
I seek the monster to make solid my world again.
Can you graft a real person who has quiet places inside her own head and not inside of others?
From that height nothing can touch you
Fron that height, you convince yourself they wanted to.
Ive worked too hard at seeing my own self clearly to leave myself now
It cant be stopped without my masters hands.
I see myself and none can see my monster but him.
Im floating away but Sir will hold me firm. I don't need him to fly I need him to teach me to land fall feel again
He will teach me what is real about me and i will forever worship that strength of him
If he holds me down it is to remind this one of gravity steady and strong beneath
If he pushes weakness it is to make them an accepted part again
If he guides and pulls and pushes. Then there is at least one more to keep me from floating away
I will learn him I will learn me
I will be destroyed and remade a thousand times in the small curve of my will and the kind unmovable strength of his.
You I know
you are one to point and stare as I became smaller and smallest like a speck of nothing much solid at all. If I needed anything I am glad you did not come to my aid
I will learn the ground again the hardness of it and the safety