i keep planning my suicide. like i don’t want to but i better have a good plan just in case yknow.
i’m not very good at coming up with good ones though so. idk. one time i tried by mixing pills that were supposedly dangerous combined and that just. fucked me up for like a week and that was it. pathetic. i tried twice actually if i remember correctly, but i didn’t take enough pills both times i think that was the problem. maybe if i tried it again………and took more pills…………idk man. i don’t think i had enough in the first place but i also think i was taking the pills on an empty stomach. idk i’ll have to plan more elaborately and probably find some alcohol too.
this is what i mean, i keep planning my suicide. i can’t stop thinking about it and like how i’m gonna go through with it Just In Case i need to. like now would be a great time but i don’t have everything i need right this moment and i also promised myself i wouldn’t attempt during the school week and it’s tuesday almost wednesday. thursday evening if i can get everything i need together then maybe i’ll try.