Chick: My parakeet likes alcohol!
Me: That doesn't sound terribly good for it, haha. Did you know that avocados are poisonous to parakeets?
Chick: I read about this girl who had a budgie that loved alcohol, and it was 18, and she said if it lived to 20 she would buy it champagne.
Me: I read about a woman who was 85 and on oxygen--still smoking cigarettes but alive. I wonder if her kids bought her a big ole cigar for her 90th birthday.
The moral of this story is that you can do something horrible for you and still be alive.