The incomprehensible chaos of Russian bureaucracy:
"The court should've matched your name exactly!"
"Oh. Right. I can run back to the court?"
"No, it's fine. But you should know. I'm taking it on and personally risking for you."
"Thank you so much."
"Oh, but last time you said two is enough?"
"It clearly states on the website you need four!"
"Right. Do you have a wall here where I can bang my head?"
The clerk laughs. "And you have the translation? Yes?"
"I do need to bang my head on something, please. I thought you said you can do the translation?"
"Okay, you have an hour. You can quickly do it. Just make sure your name matches your passport. And your residency."
"Um. The residency doesn't exist anymore. You see, they sold the apartment, so—"
"Doesn't matter. The document says so, that means it's right."
"And you got the money? No, money order. You have the wrong amount."
"But in your website it said—"
"Go get the right amount and do the translation. Make sure it's right."
"Do you have an example I can copy from?"