WE WRITE OUT OF LONELINESS
There are moments in everyone's life when something happens, something extraordinary, something so exquisite and exciting and overwhelming that we want to share it. We're social creatures, we're built that way. So we do. We start gushing to the first person we think will understand.
It goes like this.
At first we're swimming too deep in our own exuberance to be able to notice the reaction of the one listening to us (or pretending to listen). It's only after we manage to really get into the story of our epiphany—whatever it is—that we notice peculiar silence. Or polite silence. Or an interruption. Or it can be a glazed-over look, or a disbelieving shake of a head. This misunderstanding comes in many shapes, but the message is the same.
I DON'T GET YOU.
And so we falter, begin mumbling words, and then stop talking altogether. The light goes out of our eyes. The thing that got us all thrilled and energized slowly slips into the dark corners of our minds. We nod politely to whatever it is the other person is talking about. We even manage to hold conversation, often for a long time, but that living breathing spark that animated us has vanished. Not completely, no. We're so good at burying these things, to retrieve them later. To write them out.
But before we do, before we get to that place, we feel like crying.
When we're done with our social duties of talking about the weather and the kids and the money and the whatever else it was that shook the air and we barely paid attention to, seeing mouths open and close and not really hearing the words, when all of this is over, we make an excuse to be alone. We carefully walk out of the situation that has been dutifully performed and satisfactorily ended, and we run home. Or some place where its quiet, where we can be alone. And there we cry. We weep. We let go, knowing that no one will understand.
Why do we cry? Because we feel lonely. So utterly lonely.
That thing that galvanized us, it was so important, so important to share, with someone, anyone, to see their face light up and get it.
Few people do. And so we write.
Full post here.