Happy Birthday, America!
I know Russians were the first to send a man into space and it should've somehow made me feel patriotic but it didn't. At first opportunity I fled from you, mighty Russia. And hey, it was an American who first stepped on the Moon! I heard it's made of cheese. Or maybe it's a giant burger. Well, I'm happy to be here, and I'm an American now. Imagine. I even write books in English. So thanks for making me feel at home. I love you.