The Trickster Diaries/Chapter 138
Zombies—ordinary zombies—don’t really have motive or intent other than to eat you. Republican zombies from Orange County, CA, on the other hand…
Suzy was coming out for one last visit (inspection) prior to me moving out. Right around the time I’d BE moving out.
She came, lingered silently, left, then sent an email:
Suzy: I want you to reinstall the swamp cooler.
Me: Hell n…
Jones: So are we all set for Thursday?
Me: Yep. Noon-ish, I’d say. The A/C guy’s coming to uninstall at 8:00. Then Pablo—looks like maybe three truckloads—so I’ll give you a call once the last load’s been dropped off and we’re on our way back?
Jones: Perfect. Math class ends at noon, so…
Me: Oh. Right. The suicide prevention thing. I keep forgetting you’re back in college, but when you remind me I still don’t see how math is connected.
Jones: It’s the digital age, amigo. It’s all about graphs, charts, statistics, evaluations, classifications, categories, sub-categories, but, yeah, I can see where it would be difficult for an outsider to link all that with psychology, which is the primary focus.
Me: Speaking of psychology…
I told him about Suzy’s flat out demand that I reinstall the swamp cooler.
Jones: So you’re… reluctant, I take it.
Me: Reluctant? I paid to have it INstalled in the first place. 300 bucks. But what I want to tell her, what I really WANT to say is: “Hell no. Yo nigga done fled the plantation.” Or something like that.
Jones: (Laughs) Yeah, I maybe wouldn’t go that far. You know what they say about burned bridges.
Me: Another trade off, I guess. I mean, she’s kept the rent reasonable, but hey—it took her four months to spring for a new toilet. And the only reason she did was because she’s trying to sell the place.
Jones: So emulate her behavior. Just don’t respond.
Me: (Genuinely dazed at the poetic simplicity of his suggestion, his imaginative, cool, equitable solution) Dude, swear to god you’re a genius.