Yo I'mma keep it muthafuckin Real
I once puked right out in the middle of my neighborhood street
I blew a 3' hole in my friends retaining wall with a pipe bomb, and then broke his bike ramp with another one underneath and it went like 4' into the air. I ran like a fool when the explosion blewed out all the windows.
I put a mortar in a mailbox once.
I used to brand myself.
I got my ear scrubbeded while smoking a bowl in my car during study hall, and when we came back ran into the cop on campus and told him we just got back from the dentist and got away clean.
One time I took way too much oc before school and managed to discreetly throw up multiple times by pretending that I was going to blow my nose outside.
One time in rehab I:
Smoked ibuprofen out of a ghetto blaster,
Had a contest my side of the hall against the people on the other side of the hall, to see who could fill up a Gatorade bottle of spit the fastest, (they won)
Broke a sink off the wall while playing hide and seek,
Started a fire with my electric razor charger, a quarter, a glass of water and baking soda.
Cheated on every test during sophomore year and came out with a 90 avg.
i almost got caught drunk in highschool one time
I came in around noon after i spent the morning drinking at a friends house.
I went into the main office to sign in and the principle was like.
"Bleh, can i talk to you for a second...."
"have you been drinking this morning bleh?"
I was strait up like "NO! of course not!"
They took me into their office and gave me this strip i had to put in my mouth.
The strip detects any alcohol on your saliva and gives it a negative or a positive.
So naturally i just put the strip in my mouth without it touching my tongue or anything, thus no saliva inprint.
They look at the strip and say
"well......it looks like you haven't been drinking."
I then gave them some bullshit story about how i used too much listerine that morning, then proceeded to eat lunch in the cafeteria drunk as fuck.
When I was 9 me and some friends broke onto the corner grocery store...we didn't know the nearly blind owner LIVED in the fucking store...he came from upstairs with his pump action and chased us outta there. I was the last one out. He shot as I was running across the street and I caught some lead in the back of my leg and knee. I went back home and laid down, blood and all. The next day my mom took me to the hospital and had some of the pellets removed, but not all of it. I still carry some of that shit and a limp to this day.
Square motherfucking biz...Hall and Oates beat the shit out of Elton John's sorry ass.
YouTube - Hall & Oates - Rich Girl
YouTube - HALL & OATES - OUT OF TOUCH
I need to get new shoes.
seriously, i've been wearing these things for two years.
I've been trying to grow a moustache for the last month or so, and now it's lookin' pretty nice.
In my lifetime, i have spent over $10,000 on guitars, amps, and pedals.
My cat is hungry.
My stomach feels weird.
I want to record an album using nothing but microphones and edible food. I would call it the food album. The method i would use is simple, id' take food, actual edible food, and record the sounds they make. Meaning, i would record a loop of two pickles being rubbed together, upload it on my computer, and then alter the pitch of the pickles squeeking, and then make a melody of it, and so on and so forth.
i smoke about 3/4 oz of mids a week.
I met the female wrestler Chyna at a car show one time.
yo real talk iam loving that old school batmans on tv alot lately. Its like seeing into the minds of how fuggin dumbified the media was back then. Acid really seeped into hollywood cause two fucking goons in tights fighting penguin hybrid humans is ridiculous....
yo I used to work at jail, burning the candle at both ends and the middle. I worked two jobs then, trying to put food on the table. Concrete during day, and graveyards at night loading the jail's vending machines.
I was so tired I would pass out and fall asleep on my feet. When I awoke, I would just keep working, cuz I knew I was on closed circuit tv. I always made sure it was stocked, the inmates depended on me.
A couple of times I left them unlocked, and the inmates got all their junk food for free!