Thoughts come and go. Words slip through my mind. Patterns and chaos war for dominance.
I try to write, but sentences won't form. The stories won't come, and I stare at a blank page. It taunts me, echoing shadows of words and tainted whispers of forgotten dreams.
Voices haunt me, sweet remnants of creativity and chaos. Songs whisper snippets of verses plagued with doubt. Scenes write themselves before blowing away like dust on the wind. The pictures my pen creates fade and drift away.
Shadows wrap around me, a soft haze that obscures reality. Emotion dulls, and peace frays. Chaos creeps in. My head spins; my thoughts whirl. Words spill in random disorder. Mayhem falls in the wake of darkness and despair.
Depression spirals close, wrapping tendrils of doubt around my heart and head. Shadows cloud my thoughts. Focus becomes obsolete. Old scars bleed anew, and turmoil breaks the surface.
Damage done long ago tears deep with fresh wounds. Hateful words echo back, ripping through my brain. Noise invades the quiet moments; chaos breaks the peace. You tore me down; you broke my heart; you shattered peace of mind.
Depression reinforced the chaos that you laid. It hides my strength from me. I try to fight back, to find my words, but all I hear is yours. My mind brings back the hateful things you used to say. My thoughts betray me by repeating your insults and insinuations. I hold fast to the truth I know, but your words tear at my soul.
Depression saps my will and strength. It latches on to the horror and pain, creating a landscape of shadow and darkness. The haze holds onto my life, and I cannot escape it.
But time has moved on. Your words are past. My strength is my own. I may need medication to help me stand, but I have the help I need. Depression will always be a part of my life. It will always reflect the worst image of myself that it can. The shadows of doubt flow from it, invading every aspect of my life.
But I don't face it alone. I have my family and friends. And above all, the two loves of my life. I can dance in the rain and write my own story. My destiny is mine, but I won't make it on my own. Instead, I'll face my future surrounded by love. I will let its light war with the darkness and depression, and I will find my strength.