A lot of women were raised to not have any negative impact on anyone -- on men in particular. Only support them. Don't approach their level of smart, status, or income. Play second fiddle. Do what you want or need to do, but only in the moments where you're not impacting your partner, or your kids (so they learn early to play those roles too).
You're born to shine. You're equally smart, have a right to equal status and equal income. You've a right to be smarter, have more status and more income. So be yourself. And any men who are intimidated by your smarts, your status or your income are really NOT the men you want to be with. So stop worrying about whether or not you're intimidating anyone. You really don't want to be with them.
And this doesn't have to be about heterosexual relationships. It is about ANY kind of relationship. Whether romantic or platonic.