I miss Slavic today. Our son turned one year old yesterday and it was a very bittersweet day for me because I look back and see all that he isn't here for. I'd like to think that whatever plane he is on, in whatever form of energy, that he is somehow aware of the absolute darling that is this child that we made together. I keep hearing his laugh, and the way he would sniff and clear his sinuses. That sounds incredibly gross, but still that sounds stands out to me. Every single thing he ever said to me, every glance....it's all crystallized into these perfect monuments in my mind. Stones that I will rub against forever. I don't ever want to forget one stupid fragment. I don't want to lose him.