Day 346 - Fire and Ice
Three ways to find peace:
Give up on my dreams
Give up on my worries
Give up on life
Peace isn't serenity. Peace is static where serenity allows for change. And as life is change, better that we search for serenity than peace. We'll find peace in the grave soon enough.
I searched for years for that still Lake, the one the locals told me of. Everyone knew of it; no one had seen it. It was always 'in the olde days', or 'mah cousin Jack from Dunhill that were' who had actually been there.
I craved peace. I had come away from the wars with an incessant need for it. The idea of a still lake, high above the settled lands drove me. I felt that if only I could find it I could settle into a life of unchanging days and nights that held no terrors. I could die there as I had lived there and it would mean nothing. The day's and nights of the lake would go on without me.
When I found the lake, it was already settled. The family there made it clear I was not welcome and I must move on. And I did, because in my search for the lake I had found not peace, but the serenity of living life on my own. I learned to face each day's challenges on its own terms, bringing nothing to the table but calm acceptance of what I could not change, and an ever-growing set of skills to change that which I could.
My life had become more than a search for the grave. I became alive as I had not been before. I worried sufficiently only unto the day, and let the day's troubles go at night as I prepared my place to sleep.
There is a smoking mountain I've heard of, a place of fire and ice. It doesn't sound very peaceful, but I'm going to search for it anyway, and settle there if I can. I will name the mountain Serenity.