More from the "Green Eyes":
We've arrived in John's bed, finally.
I follow his example and make an unusual effort at apparel-folding. Although we had fairly rough sex the previous morning, there is not the least suggestion of anything untoward between us in the past, for all practical purposes we could be virgins.
I lie next to him.
"You're beautiful," he says, caressing my face. I'm caressing back. This would be the moment to say 'I love you,' although you never know what you get back, like 'moi non plus,' statistically the most honest answer (moi non plus, French, used by Serge Gainsbourg, the one and only basis for his fame, this noun phrase, meaning "me neither"), or 'I love you too,' but uttered unconvincingly, or 'I love you too,' uttered more convincingly, although you know it's bullshit.
(I hold back.)
(I cannot hold back.)
"I love you," I say.
"No sweat," Alex comes back—bypassing world literature from Homer to Spielberg. Have you ever heard anybody saying 'no sweat' in this situation? There's a teasing movement of his eyelashes, although his green eyes stay neutral as if it's head or tail. "In human sexual behavior," he says, "foreplay is a set of emotionally and physically intimate acts between two or more people meant to create desire for sexual activity and sexual arousal." Ooh, he's so sweet!
He does what he can. He caresses my pecs, my tummy, my nipples, retracts to my shoulders with his versatile hands, pays attention to my biceps. "You are still quite OK, gym-wise."
"Thank you," I reply, not reciprocating further—there are no words for his Adonis corpus. His eyes appear to know this while they are kissing other parts of my body. We're in for the longer haul. He bends over, caresses my thighs, my legs, teasingly avoiding my package or other private parts, all of which have reached a state of extreme arousal. My penis has never been this large.
Should I tell him? It wouldn't go with the romantic flow of his movements, or would it? I know, I know, but this is me, John, always ready for a silly remark. "My penis has never been this large," I say.