It really isn't about still being in love with him, that I stopped doing long before we ended. It's about being sad another one of my many relationships failed. I primarily stuck to monogamous relationships, and until I learned about nonmonogamy, I thought I just wasn't ment to be in love and be loved. I love everyone and everything; I just simply adore the beautiful. Being restrained to loving and showing affection to simply one person, caused me to feel contained and restricted; feelings that have always made me rebeled; they made me cheat. I've lied to a lot of people about who I am in order to be accepted. I always thought, who would want to be with someone that doesn't hold on to traditional relationship standards. Love is the greatest thing in the world but it is also the hardest .