things that only the night remembers
you were afraid once, of the void and the dark and the night, that endless entity that surrounded you,that could even come within you,
so you reached for the stars, grasping at the little bit of light wanting to make it your own (you never could, but the company would suffice)
it hurts to be alone; not like you'd ever admit it of course
(you can almost reach the stars,you're practically one of them yourself,celestial beings don't require basic human necessities)
you want to build a kingdom and you want to build an eternity and you want to build an oasis and you want to build a home
(you want to destroy a kingdom and you want to escape eternity and there is no oasis and you will never know a home)
gods require blood and stars require darkness; you learn to control the demons that terrify you and you take blood and darkness and make them your ambrosia.
becoming immortal is a gruesome process,
a destructive process; golden apples
don't exist outside of legends, you know, and you immersed yourself with mortals for too long that you don't even know how to be one
you remember, slowly (just like how a star dies, slowly, just like how an eternity passes, slowly), what it is like to smile and what it is like to laugh
you think for a moment you can even recall what it is like to feel but -
love is weak and love is a lie - you are ancient now, confusing a four letter word with obsession is a beginner's mistake, and
mistakes are a thing you left behind five centuries ago
antiquity has a way of creeping up on you. stars go supernova all the time.