There are things I don’t talk about
like how tired I actually am
from holding on, everyday,
when all I want to do is let go,
from worrying about my parents
because they’re approaching 60 soon
and they keep telling me that
they just want me to be happy—
so I understood.
There are things I won’t say,
like how I wish I could have felt what
21 could have felt like before turning 22,
like how I almost wish I didn’t spend the
entire year and half working my ass off
for an end that feels so far,
like how I wish my father wasn’t so absent,
just so I didn’t have to always roll up my sleeves
and try so hard to be a grown up
when the little girl in me
keeps knocking on my heart.
There are things I will keep from you,
like how I’ve perfected my smile,
my childish antics, my silly gestures—
in return to hear my loved ones laugh.
Because in that brevity of a second,
in the shortness of a moment,
I’m reminded that
life isn’t a silly game, but
that it’s just a process of continual
loss and gain.
#writing #prosepoetry #poetry #poem #mundays #ellowrites
#life #growth #loss