I don't want to make this account too confessional, but I think I'm going to disappear from my city on Friday and not reappear until some time Monday.
I'm going to go to a liminal space and think.
This photo is three and a half years old. It's a self portrait on the day I shoved all those comics into trash bags and dropped them down a chute. I wanted to burn them in a bonfire. It would have been a better ritual. But I didn't have a place to make one, and anyway flaming pages would have floated out all over the place.
Bonfires aren't for city boys. Trash chutes work. So instead of the ritual of fire I took this photo. It's titled Four Color Grave.
I've been on a trajectory of shedding things for several years. These comics would have taken so much effort to sell, or even give away, they were the biggest mass of negative value I hauled with me like a woodpulp curse from apartment to apartment for years. It felt like blasphemy to destroy them.
It felt so good.
After that the dam broke and I sold or donated almost all my regular books, I sold all my art books, I gave away chairs and tables and shelves, dumped broken machines at the electronics recycler. Threw out ragged clothes.
Keep nothing that is not a tool. Get the best tools. Spend your time making, not owning.
I didn't become anti-materialistic. I think I'm still really sensual in disposition. I love money, and I like to touch beautiful things.
I'd just rather be touching them as I make them than collecting them.
So, three and a half years later, a lot of stuff disposed of, and all the practice I can accept without a plan, I need to figure out what I'm going to try to do.
I think better out of daily context, and over the past couple of years I've read a few books I'd like to re-read and give serious thought to. These are not the best written books, they are not themselves artful. They are raw and often simple information mixed with some clever thought. They've stayed in the back of my head as books I should take seriously as I figure out what to do next.
These are the books:
The Indie Band Survival Guide
How to Start and Run a Commercial Art Gallery
It Will Be Exhilarating
Fine Art Publicity
The Personal MBA
Clearly I'm not going to re-read them all in one weekend. What I want to do is come down from the in-between place with specific intentions for the next few creative years.
I've bagged and burned everything I can, except my actual life.
What comes next?