The concept of owning one another is ingrained deeply into this culture and language. Once we have a lover, they are "our" lover. A child? My child. Employee? My employee. I assume there are other languages that don't imply ownership? Anyone know which ones? I've been trying to figure out how to address people in my life without claiming them as "mine"...
I had a train wreck first marriage many years ago with someone that I didn't know very well. He had and still has the mind state that once we were married, I belonged to him. And if I refused to obey, I would be exiled and/or destroyed. It has affected my life so negatively, I am doing everything I can to change myself in order to properly deal with the unending problem. I know I'll never change them.
Seems changing my words, my inner dialogue- my language- would be a good start. If I stop claiming ownership over others, maybe they will do the same for me.