Worthless Dirty Bird (2.5" x 2.5")
Yesterday, on my morning walk, I caught a bird sitting on its bum, like this. I didn’t have my specs on, so I couldn’t get a good look, but it wasn’t one of the usual birds I see. It wasn’t a house sparrow, or a song sparrow, or a chickadee, or a starling, or a northern flicker, a gull, a crow, a goose, a loon, or even a bufflehead. It had beak-whiskers, and great, bulging eyes. It was sort of…pale brownish-grey, with white parts. I thought something might be wrong, as birds don’t usually sit like that. I also thought it might be a treecreeper, which is a bird I've been trying to find for ages.
I tried to sneak up on it—you know, just to check on its health. But it squawked in my face and flew off, looking completely fine. Very energetic. When it opened its beak to squawk at me, I noted that it had an exceptionally large, pink mouth. Stupid, noisy, hateful, bum-sitting bird. Now, I’ll never know what you were. I hope you’re satisfied.