My name is Paola Livas and I am a visual artist from Monterrey, Mexico. I usually work with my own experience or with my surroundings, I do a lot of writing and have a special connection with objects as the materialization of my thoughts. In 2015 I decided to become an egg donor out of curiosity, once inside the process I started writing a diary about all of the feelings I went through, I felt vulnerable, I felt misunderstood, I felt used as a body and a subject to medicine, I felt confused, I felt the need to read about feminism and understand what was going through my mind while my body was being injected and modified to produce more viable eggs than it normally does. I felt regretful at some point and I felt like I'd lost something important after I donated, I felt connected to this idea of a possible human baby with half my DNA and I thought of a term for him or her that made sense to me in Spanish, my no-hijo or no-hija, something like "un-child" in English. I felt the need to imagine the life of this baby, to imagine the life of the woman that was to receive my reproductive cells, to imagine what would happen if at a certain age this baby was told that there was someone else involved in their conception. I imagined a crisis of identity, I imagined my responsibility towards him or her to show them that I cared, that this affected my life forever and that the idea of their existence will always be with me. I also imagined that none of this worked and all is just fiction based on a real experience. My project is called Ficciones de la no-maternidad (Fictions of the nonmaternity) and it shows from my perspective and my cultural background what it felt like to question the whole idea of maternity. In Mexico there is a popular saying, "madre solo hay una" (there is only one mother) after I began to understand maternity, the maternal, the un-maternal and how all of these play a major role in our societies and could never be a fixed idea, I realized in today´s world so many maternities are fighting to be recognized and understood. I hope that Fictions of the nonmaternity gives an insight into the complexity of egg donation and its consequences on an ideological, emotional, intellectual, social and political level. #seeallthiswomen, #iMAE
Ficciones de la no-maternidad (Fictions of the nonmaternity)
Diary writing, embroidery on baby clothes, crib, collection of medical objects, open letters.