Premonition of Farewell
Remember the last
time we shared a smoke?
You told me I will soon fly away
Shortly after you will pass away
with no one around
and I nowhere to be found.
You showed me where it
will hit and I laughed
told you that you're
just being foolish.
Turns out I was the fool
thinking I have time.
Fast forward a few years,
you pass away, I can’t come
I am nowhere to be found.
People from all around
say their farewell
I still wish you well
denying you’re not around.
They blamed me for your passing
Little did they know I died
while you were dying.
They cried for not being around
I cried when you came and said:
farewell my darling I’m fading
sorry I can’t stick around.
The night is my friend and God
is my only witness whom I told:
I leave everything in your hands
for I know you see everything
you understand what others don’t.
They wonder how come you wander
They question why I see you but they don’t
Day or night you are on my mind.
I reminisce the wind in your hair
the white halo for an iris that
replaced your beautiful loving browns.
You come to me comfort me
give me strength in dreams.
You buy me things take me
for walks and the night stalls.
I have all the lengthy conversations
I missed over coffees I wished
to make you once more my love.
It’s so hard coming to see you
beneath a headstone rather than
kiss you just before you get up
from your bed to embrace me.
I miss smelling you and telling you
how much I’ve missed you my love.
I know you visit sometimes
when I make things you like.
But darling beautiful scents
don’t make sense for those
who don’t believe in spirits.
So I lay here dreaming you
waiting until I get to see you
once again and hold you
before day breaks and my dreams
of you fade into empty embraces.
I have tried living on without you
but I realized am just going on
to obey you when you said
your life doesn’t belong to you
it’s a loan to be paid when due.
I hear your words and remember
You say no one dies before their time
But dad, you died way before your time.
I wish I followed you.
It hurts so much being without you.
My only consolation is that I didn’t hurt you
by letting you see how much life made me cry
over things I love that I lost in my strife.
And as I wake to say good morning
to another hurtful day in this cruel life…
I say good night to you my love.
Your body may have faded away
from my eyes and grasp
But don't fade away from my dreams.
Dedicated to M.K... In loving memory of my father... may he rest in peace amen!
Inspired by Dead Can Dance - Don't Fade Away