When I was nine years old I was diagnosed with lupus. It's an autoimmune disorder. I almost died and it's definitely changed my perspective on a lot of things. I developed depression because of it. It's difficult when your family doesn't really understand, so I’m not feeling really connected and they don't know how to connect with me. I don't know how to express how I want to connect with them. And also finding friends who just understand, it's kind of hard because everyone goes through it differently and it is hard to find someone to connect with on the same level that I feel pain. It does make me feel kind of isolated.
When I’m feeling an episode coming on I isolate myself because no one is going to understand. I get a pat on the back, it doesn't make me feel any better. Some people say you can get over it. This is something I just cannot get over. It's really frustrating at times, trying to explain to some people that I can't help it. My auto immune disorder limits some of my abilities like I'm not supposed to be out in the sun. I can't over exert myself. I can't eat certain things because they will make me inflamed. I wake up in pain almost every day.
It has made me a stronger person. It's made me build my character, definitely as a person and it has made me empathize with others.
I have a couple stuffed animals, my sister has gotten me some. They definitely bring me a sense of comfort. Sometimes I just want to hold something and just being able to hold one of my stuffed animals does bring me a lot of comfort. It is different in that it is just there. It's not going to try to make me feel better, that awkwardness, oh it's going to be OK. I have this tiny hamster and his name is Buttercup. I had this really big plush cat and his name is Walter.
Thanks for stopping by. To read more stories go to my Instagram or my website.
~ Be the X tra in Ordinary ~ Perfect Reject Stories ~ Celebrate Difference
#photojournalism #photography #stories #portrait @ellophotography @ellophotographer @ello #documentary #teddybear #WilsonTheBear #perfectlyImperfect #ellophoto #interview #lupus @elloportrait