You know when you get yourself caught up in relationships where you think this is it. This is the feeling everyone speaks of and i’m in it and I'm so blessed to have it and then all the sudden it ends. And after that your world literally stops and you don't know where to go from there. That was one of those pivotal moments in my life where I realized all I wanted was to prove in that relationship that my mom wrong.
My mom has been married three times, divorced three times so me trying to stay in that relationship was me trying to prove to my mom that I can stay in a relationship, even if it was wrong for me, He cheated on me. It was very painful not admitting to it. I couldn't step out of the house, I couldn't eat for maybe two months. I wasn't leaving my bedroom.
Looking back I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was a much weaker version of me so I'm very happy that it brought me to where I a now because now I am very comfortable in my skin. Not having to rely on another person to make me feel so to speak complete. That rejection allowed me to be 36, single and not have to worry about if I'm alone or not.
I was not a child who collected anything. I didn't have a doll or a stuffed toy,
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