I feel "safer" to say it now. I've waited. I've read. I've read so much that my brain feels like it wants to crawl out and run away. (on day 2 of a migraine owww )
The first time I heard Jian Ghomeshi's voice, and this was a very long time ago, I felt sick. Literally.
Every time after that the reaction was similar and worse until I began feeling what from the outside could only be called an irrational hate of the man. I would not listen to anything he was in. If his radio show was on and I even heard the song I'd hit the power button, HIT it, off.
The reactions were visceral, they were instant and they made no real sense. I didn't know the guy at all. Hadn't even seen his face for many years. I didn't want to. I can't look at him now. My eyes and head drop like I'm somehow holding shame. It has long confused me.
Not any more.
What I don't readily (or ever) understand socially, I can feel on a level that is not seen. It's an energy. it's colours and sparks and wordless for a long time. But I feel it coming long before others see it.
I have absolutely no doubt, zero, that he is a violent man who needs punishment and some sort of institutionalized therapy program. I want this violent, sexual predator off the streets. I believe the women who have spoken up and I offer my support and knowing. I've been there and almost every single women reading this right now has been too.
So let's stop this together. We are on the precipice of real, REAL change here. Be brave too. Come with me, it will be okay.