I devour my sadness my pains and my hurts
I swallow my words chewy and sticky as they are and force them down
Memories filled with the sound of gagging and the old ache of gagging when there’s nothing in your stomach
Anger is heavy and thick and needs to be chewed over and over and over until I can’t chew anymore. The lump stays in my throat and sits by my chest and I struggle to breathe but I eat every day.
Jealousy is sour. It’s quick and sharp and makes me dizzy and fills me up with the taste of what I could be but never can become and I choke. I choke and gasp and beat myself trying to breathe but it never leaves
Hate has a distinct flavor. Metal and sharp and it gives my teeth an ache but it doesn’t burn on the way down like misery does. Hate can be swallowed quickly and goes straight to my heart. The blood pumps and my stomach heaves but hate is the easiest thing to swallow
Misery is hot and spicy and burns. My eyes my nose my entire being fills with it until I’m numb. Sweating and crying and painting on the bathroom floor and just wishing it all would stop
Gagging on the vestiges of all my negative emotions until they come back up and I’m left to look at what I’ve done.
Bile and hatred and anger and misery and jealousy all sitting together and it makes me sick again and again and this time my throat is raw and my head just lays on the floor and I think I’m drooling but what else can I do?
I’ve spit up the last of my ugly but still I feel it. I feel it and I feel it and
And I don’t know what to eat next
Lesions on my throat prevent me from swallowing the better things like love of happiness
Those flavors are savory. The broth could soothe my pain if I let but healing hurts
I’d rather starve