Shattered Irrevocable Decision
When I was young I used to say "period" whenever I want to end a statement with no other objections from someone like "Ako'y na una'g sulod dinhi's classroom. Period". So that the next person would gladly accept that I am superior to him. I thought once you have finally decided what to do for as long as it didn't occur yet it should and must be done without any hesitation but I guess change is really inevitable.
Hesitation comes in once the things that fuck you most started to loosen up a bit. I am talking about my previous posts "challenge accepted" and "irrevocable decision". The situation after a year have changed, let me put it in a simpler form which is I got a raised (doubled), financially speaking. I never had ever imagined that in my first year of service that salary increase will happen. In fact I already have accepted that I will be staying in hell for one last year however again change is really something mysterious, isn't it?
What have I done and it seems that my dear God is pouring blessings in my life? As I remember the greatest thing I did last school year was to render overtime to accomplish that effin newspaper. I have to brag it since that was the first time I ever created a magazine and a tabloid newspaper. Hmmp, I was also their layout artist, cellphones collector, encoder, secretary of the secretary of the real secretary of KPRISA, reminder, substitute teacher (no choice), computer geek (God knows how simple their issues) and a rule breaker. Could that be enough reasons for them to increase my salary?
Well, I am not even sure why I am fucking writing this, maybe to redeem myself from writing those shitty previous posts or maybe to again help me decide in the future. I don't want to be a forever pessimist, I am just trying my best to promote positivity in life.
So much more of that, my status as of the moment is somehow satisfying, I lost my phone last August and it seems so easy for me to replace a new one (well, staggered payment of course). I can go to any clubs I want with anyone I want to go with. I guess I am pretty much living on my own dream, I bet that explains why the hesitation keeps on hitting my deeper ego on what would be my decision after my contract. October 2015, time flies really fast, who could have imagined that my 2 year contract is about to end? Hell experiences - I guess 1 year was enough but not this year.
Maybe I had enough, maybe I am not even qualified to participate in the baddest life ever, maybe just maybe it is not for me. Who knows? Well this could be the road God prepared me to take. Who knows? Heck, it's an easy talk to accomplish but I am not letting my guards down for I know bobby traps are everywhere, it may save me or worst break me.
Till next update, chow!