Spray Lakes Reservoir
I'd forgotten how to take hold of certain thoughts I've had. As if they were alive. As if they were more than just the dream, inside. As if they were real things, not merely imagined. Instead I held them at arms length. For a very long time. Until this moment. Here, alone, in this new and open space, yet somehow familiar to me. This great big world which seems akin, possibly, to free. My spirit and I, embraced again. And we remembered that we knew and loved each other. Like old friends.
Though I've never before stepped foot on this ground, planted my feet, and dug my hands into this brown dirt—I was only ever in this world once before, for less than a day, once upon a time—it occurred to me that the reason small, dirty, repainted apartment stairwells, or walking among a myriad sad souls on dank overcrowded city streets, can some how and in some way, by some miracle still feel... bearable, still feel like this long grass tickling between my toes, is because of the dreams we aspire to. This place is like a dream to me, realized. Here, my worries melt away, my inner mountains turn to stepping stones. Challenged-then-conquered with ease on the inside, on the way to greater space beyond, all with simultaneously purple-orange setting suns unlike any I've ever seen before. Here, I am reminded of why I am alive and still breathing for another day of struggle, possibly pain, but with any luck, more beauty. The dreams I hold on to—refuse to let go of—this has always been, my source of greatest strength. And this place resonates why our dreams are so important. As we learn new things, and dreams grow within us, so does our best defense against the darkest times. Until we are able to walk forward again, one foot at a time, climb upward, one arm over the other. Until we escape from the abyss. And see those dreams come true.
And you don't have to climb alone, either. Allow the spirit in you, guide, up there, on your mountain side. Let yourself lighten the burden you bear, along your continued journey. Let go of your claim to things. So that wherever you are in life, you can accept help from others, and feel free to give in return. It is the best medicine. Above all, the highest point to life is to just... take it in, take it in. Listen, do not just hear. Experience, do not just see. Then let it go, all over again. Live in the moment, and keep dreaming new dreams.
It does not matter how low you've fallen, how far gone you feel, how much your past weighs on you, how hard you've previously yanked the plug, to try and disconnect from reality... Begin again. Start now. After all, you are still alive. Still breathing. And you will always be a human being. And by that very merit, there is reservoir of water, air, life within you. It is why you yet live, and breath. Why you are in this, still. So drink plenty. Breathe deep. So live in the present, not the past. It is prologue, and they are just mistakes. Learn from them. Fight to stand, push through, and climb again.
Just remember, you are taller than any height, and stronger than gravity. But you are only as real and as forgiven and as new as your next step, only as much as, or less than, your next moment. You've only forgotten, you. I wrote this as a reminder of the strength inside of me. I hope it helps you find the source of yours, too.
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