Watson Reminds Me I'm in Love with a Lesbian
Watson and I walk along side the lake towards the end of hole seven. We don't always talk. Sometimes we contemplate. Or listen to the extent of what silence passes for in a world where traffic is always within earshot.
"You should tell Elbows," Watson says. He's walking in front of me, kicking through the leaves. "You don't really want her finding out, if she does, and then finding out you knew."
I groan. "I must admit, I initially had Heygrrl send me a screenshot just for that purpose. To get her riled up, but I'm not sure I'm feeling it. She was in a good mood today. I didn't have the heart to ruin it."
Watson shrugs. "It's your call, man. I'm not the one who's in love with her."
I don't need to see the shit eating grin on his face to know it's there. It's on my face too. Believe it or not, some of my favorite humor is at my expense. While I squirm when I'm the favored target of the night, I do appreciate some of the clever cutting up my friends do. Right now, though, Watson's just being a loveable asshole.
"How's that going, by the way?" I don't need to see his shit-eating grin. I can hear it.
"Maaaan, I'm still in love with her. And she still knows it."
Elbows. If my appreciation of irony says anything about me, falling in love with a lesbian has to be one of my greatest achievements. Describing her will never come close to capturing all of the things I love about her. Elbows is perky. Funny. Smart. Honest. Loved by many. She's also a manager in the Golden Arches Army. I've known her as long as I've known Glassy.
I'm not sure if I fell in love with her right away, but it probably didn't take long. I already like bossy women. Throw in a smart and funny bossy woman and it's only a matter of time. Our banter became the most enjoyable part of a routine day. Still, back then, a lot of that interaction was only done at work. In fact, all of it was.
When Cassie died, and I moved in with Glassy, I saw the lesbians a lot more than I did when I lived in the SCAM. They would always invite me over for dinner, but I rarely took them up on the offer. Mostly because I was in the middle of my self-imposed exile. I was and still am uncomfortable outside my house for long periods of time unless I'm at work. Glassy and the girls have been good friends for a long time. So when I moved in with him, the frequency of their company increased.
Like me, after Cassie died, Fingers & Elbows had delusions of grandeur about how we were going to band together and raise Young Squire the best way possible. Surrounded by love, happiness and family. Laughter. Blah blah blah. Instead, Glassy fucked Angelina Jolie's Depressed Bisexual Sister and the little village we planned to form exploded.
Elbows lost her shit. How could Glassy do this? Cassie hated that girl so much! Her body isn't even cold yet!
I felt the same way. Cassie was my friend, too. And I was offended at the idea that Glassy was seeking solace in the arms of public enemy number one and the person with the least amount of life experience. I'm not saying I wanted to deal with the soul bearing because I do not like serious situations, but I was sure that she was not the answer. I was on Elbow's side on this one. Team Cassie.
Fingers, on the other hand, seemed to think Glassy and the Redhead was a good idea. Both of them seemed to think Elbows would get over it. I knew better. So this whole drama unfolds over time. Gossip and rumors between me and Elbows became a daily ritual. Over time she would lament about Fingers. And how certain things about her are shady. And how she was unhappy. The four of us would get together and pretend we weren't hiding things from each other. Laugh. Eat dinners. Take turns watching the baby.
So much time for me to see Elbows for who she is. Making it harder for me to hide the fact that I absolutely loved her. Until Fingers finally put her phone down long enough to notice.