Journal 1: Why I'm Electing to Travel
6 June 2017
I’m fairly young; yet, I’m in that age group where I unnecessarily fear the inevitable lose of my youth. Call it a quarter life crisis—call it an overdue fulfillment of wanderlust—does it really matter why? I’m twenty-two now, and since my eighteenth birthday, I have moved twelve times. If you do the math, I haven’t stayed in one location for longer than five months (on average, at least). Every time I have moved, I’ve had to shove everything I own into my car, and if I was lucky, I could make two trips. In other words, I’ve gotten used to not owning furniture and not owning too much at one time. I have also become versed in purging my belongings: learning what to sell, what to donate, what to trash, and what to burn. The gist of what I have said is that I’m used to not staying in one location for too long and I prefer to own fewer belongings.
Like so many people, I had it engrained in me to go to college, get a lucrative degree and career, get married, and make a family. The older I got, the less appealing that all sounded—and damn, did I try to make it work anyway. It’s like the “happiness” people are seeking is someone else’s brand of happiness and not their own. I don’t want to be restricted to one location because of a job or a partner or school or kids (the kids part especially, because me trying to fulfill my dreams would create instability in my kids’ lives. Literally, my dreams would die with my child’s birth). The more work I put into conforming to traditional life goals, the more they utterly depressed me. The longer I stayed in the Dayton, Ohio area, the more depressed I became.
So this is me, pursuing some sort of dream, trying to find some sort of meaning in my life.